Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're not your brother, 2014. You're standing there all clean and shiny and full of promise, and for that I thank you. But take note: if you turn out to be anything like 2014, I will kick your ass relentlessly for 12 months straight and say goodbye with a finger. The middle, in case that wasn't clear.
2014 kicked my ass. It started with an abscessed tooth and the pain never evaporated, it just moved from one place to another, from on month to the next, always waiting for me to get back up just so it could drop another anvil on me.
That will not happen again. Not this time, not this year. I am slowly standing up again and I will not fall down again. So if you think you can waltz in here and do to me what 2014 did, you've got another thing coming. So just sit your ass down and let me take advantage of that clean slate you're offering. You can be The Year, 2015. And I'm going to make you my year, so enjoy the ride and excuse me while I spit goodbye to 2014.
Now excuse me while I talk to my friends.