UPDATE: I AM NOT GOING TO HARM MYSELF. I just wanted to write so that I can process how I feel. I don't want anyone to worry, so please don't.
The weather has been beautiful. Revitalizing, even, if not for me.
Seems to be working for everyone else.
I can't shake the demons. They are clawing at my soul, threatening to take away everything.
I'm on my couch chain-smoking and drinking. Beautiful day outside. Beautiful. But this beauty belongs to someone, everyone else. Not me.
This is not for me.