Trans Exclusive Radical Feminist: Self explanatory but, to expand, a radical feminist who excludes trans women from their mission or vision.
Kind of a passive definition, isn’t it? For example, my feminism is in many ways tied to my physical being so I’ve always included trans men who were assigned female at birth (AFAB); therefore, I have an inclusive scope of feminism. Easy Peasy! I’m an intersectional feminist, period, the end.
Except, it’s not actually that easy.
I’m very easy to prey upon and sway when it comes to those who were assigned male at birth (AMAB).
I struggled for a long time with my identity. I can’t say exactly when it happened, but eventually in my early twenties I simply embraced the Me that I know. I was tired from making a statement with my appearance and I just wanted to be comfortable in my own skin.
I had earlier wrapped myself in the most butch persona possible. Short, spiky, multi-colored hair, wearing cut-off camo fatigues, combat boots, and a tank top. Or combat boots with jeans and a t-shirt and a wallet with a chain, even though carrying that wallet in my back pocket really hurt my back when I drove.
This was a defensive act on my part- I never felt comfortable in that identity. Coming out had exhausted me, though, and I was tired of people doubting that I was really a lesbian. Dressing as the stereotype gave me a thicker shell. Strangers knew at a glance that I was gay, and friends and family got pushed even harder out of their “it’s just a phase” stance.
(I even shaved my head at one point, save a row of bangs that I dyed bright pink. My sister, who was the first person I came out to and had been supportive up to that point, saw me and asked “what’s next? Why don’t you just go tattoo ‘DYKE’ on your forehead?”)
Anyway, after a couple years of this I got tired. I was just an actor, spending a ridiculous amount of energy on my appearance even though that was never anything I enjoyed doing. So I quit dyeing my hair and let it grow out and I started dressing how I always had, which was comfortably and without regard for the opinions of others.
There is a lot more I want to write about how the world viewed me and how I viewed myself in each stage of my self-acceptance and it’s actually quite pertinent to the topic, but I’m not here to write a treatise today.
The point is that my personal experiences with identity necessarily inform my views, even when those views are wrong. But because it’s personal, it’s easy for bad actors to sway me into a thought or belief I wouldn’t have really given a moment’s thought to otherwise. That’s disturbing! It straight pisses me off. It’s easy for me to immediately spot someone who’s racist or sexist and refuse to give them any of my time. It’s also easy for me to spot the same with anti-trans** people, but I haven’t yet achieved that ‘no time for you’ credo with them.
Indeed, the worst part is I’m willing to hear them out.
